It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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