She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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