Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
