this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The feeling are messing with the penis
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
