I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
