i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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