i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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