he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
