is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Green mimosas i think yes
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
