Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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