Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
