There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
