doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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