After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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