This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
