No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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