Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
