Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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