Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
