i would punch a child for taco bell
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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