i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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