shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
