It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
