CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
