Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
