You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
