I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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