it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
