How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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