I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
