Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
