So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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