You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
