i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's official drugs can't kill me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
