Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
