I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
