I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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