You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize