Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
