Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
