Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
