two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
