You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
