is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
