she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
