problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
