We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
