Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it hurts more in the daytime
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
