She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
