She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
