Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize